Please Settle This,
I married into a family that loves Christmas. I mean LOVES it. Matching pajamas. A twelve-foot tree. A cousin who dresses up as an elf, unironically, and he is forty-one.
When Jordan and I started dating, spending the holidays with his family felt like stepping into a movie. My family is small. Just my mom and my brother, three hours away, and our Christmases were always quiet. Soup, a board game, a walk around the lake.
So the first year, I happily went to his parents’. And the second. And then it just became what we do. Thanksgiving there. Christmas there. Easter there, because "everybody is already in town."
That was seven years ago.
Last December my mom called me Christmas morning while I was in my elf-themed pajamas. She sounded happy. She told me about the soup. And then my brother texted me a photo of the table, and there was a third place set. Mine. She sets it every year, he told me. "Just in case."
I went into his parents’ guest bathroom and cried with the faucet running.
When we got home, I told Jordan I want to alternate. One year his family, one year mine. He looked at me like I had suggested canceling Christmas altogether. "My mom would be crushed. It is the only time the whole family is together. Your mom is fine with it, she always says so."
She does always say so. That is what moms do.
Now it is October and his mom has already sent the pajama sizes form. I have not filled it out.
Am I wrong for wanting to split the holidays? Or should I just be grateful I married into a family that wants me there?
Signed,
Homesick at Christmas
Letters are written by NowSettled from the disputes people search for. Names and details are made up.
